i don't know that anyone else calls their grandma "gammers". but it's just what i've always called you. probably what my kids will call my mom, too. you passed away when i was five years old. i don't have a lot of memories from when i was that young, but i definitely remember you. just little things that you wouldn't think i would remember. like when you would come and get me after jordan and mom were asleep and we'd eat peaches and dry cheerios and watch gilligan's island. or how one halloween you dressed up as a witch and you had green skin and everything. or watching the lion king at your house and making fun of jordan by calling her a "scar lover". i wish you could have been here. i know you loved me. just the few, cloudy memories i have tell me that. but i would have loved to really know you. to see you at my performances. when i graduated, all i could think was how i wished you were there. i've talked to my mom about you and she's told me everything she knows. she's a lot like you. and she quit smoking recently, i'm sure you're proud. she misses you. i got the movie seven yesterday. i saw it and i remember mom telling me that it was the last movie you ever recommended to her and that she could never bring herself to watch it. so we're going to watch it together. i miss you. and i love you. and i'll be seeing you.