Saturday, June 19, 2010

dear sister,

i just have to say thank you. thank you for being there for me all the time. i can't imagine a life without you. you know everything about me. and, i hate to admit it, but you've given me the best advice of anyone i know. i say i hate to admit it because sometimes you say what i need to hear but not what i want to. and even though it hurts me to hear it most of the time, i'm really grateful for your honesty with me. because i know it's all in love. and that means everything to me. you know me better than anyone does, jordan. you know the weird, sick thoughts i have and how to use them against me. you know that i tend to fall head over heels for the one person who is least likely to fall for me. you know what my face looks like when i'm sad or lying or hiding a laugh or winning an ugly face competition. because, let's face it little sister, i totally win those. totes mcgotes. i love the person that you've grown into. the person who makes me laugh all the time by saying stupid lines from movies or being really rude to mom or telling me that my voice hits a certain pitch that makes you want to kill yourself. there have been so many times in the last year that i've hurt so badly. i thought i'd never get out of the hole i was in. but you'd always just listen to me. or give me a hug. you saved me, yord. you are one of the main reasons that i'm okay right now. you're one of the most intelligent people i know and you're going places, little sister. please do me a favor and don't sell yourself short. yes, you are wonderful at doing hair. yes, you're very fashion forward. but you're also gifted in math and science and that is so rare, jordan. don't just throw that talent away. you have so much to offer the world. and no matter which direction you take your life, i know you'll make the right choice. you have a really good head on your shoulders. and in your pants. HEYO. didn't expect that, did you? God karen, you're so stupid! i have to take this moment to apologize to you. i'm so sorry i scared you. i know i scared you this past year because i told you things that frightened you. they frightened me too. i was hurting so badly. and you were the only person i had to talk to. but i realized the things that i was saying to you were scaring you, so i stopped. i'm sorry. i didn't even think about the affect it would have on you to hear the things i was thinking. but i want you to know that getting those things out really helped me a lot. and thank you for hearing me out. just thank you for being there for me, always.
love you, mean it.

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