i don't believe in love. i have for so long. i've invested so much of myself in this idea, this dream, that maybe one day i'll be happy. since i was able to comprehend anything, i've depended on the idea of a prince or a knight. or the best guy in high school. or the guy i meet at random. or the one who's been there all along. and it never works. could this simply be that a higher power is stopping me from wasting any time? yeah, sure. but i'm not buying it anymore. just because some people get lucky. just because some people get there. just because my parents are happy. so what? they got lucky. and luck and i don't really have the best track record. i'm not looking for a pity party. i'm just sick of hurting all the time. of always being disappointed and let down. i can't do it anymore. and if i just drop my expectations, i'll be better off. it;s hard to believe in something you've never seen first hand. and i'm used to it. if love never comes along, i won't be any worse off.
i just don't believe in love anymore.